iCan't Forget Her
by emilywkd76
Summary: Can your first True love ever really be forgotten? First story, hence the inability to summarise satisfactorily. One-Shot


My first story, what d'ya think?  
To avoid confusion:  
Flashbacks are italic.  
References to Freddies ex-girlfriend are italic and underlined.  
Speech is in bold.

You can interrpret what happens to _her _however you like, _unleash your imagination._

_Copyright material belongs to Dan Schneider. I only formulated the plot :)_

* * *

Freddie Benson was late meeting Carly Shay and yet, uncharacteristically, this didn't seem to bother him as much as it undoubtedly would have done before_ she _came along.

They were meant to meet outside of the Groovy Smoothie half an hour ago Freddie suddenly realised as he looked at his watch, and as a result of this he sped up around the corner of the block next to the cafe. As he approached the Groovy Smoothie he saw her, standing outside, bathed in the orange tinge of the street light. It was November the 17th, 6 months since _she'd_ left, and for the first time this year, snow was falling, and at an alarming rate too.

Walking slowly towards Carly, Freddie became concerned, her brunette hair was hanging over her face limply and her head was pointed towards the floor, her hands covering her eyes; she was crying.  
"Carly," his voice rasped, having only just stopped crying himself leaving his throat dry and in need of some liquid, a Smoothie preferably.  
Carly was so surprised that she poked her left eye by jabbing it with a finger,  
"Wha - OW – Freddie! You made me jump!"  
"What's up?" His voice had a sense of concerned urgency that made her heart melt, which in turn made her feel incredibly guilty and dissatisfied.

When did everything get so confusing? It never used to be like this; Carly Shay did NOT fancy Freddie Benson. But ever since there was a possibility that _she _liked Fredward, Carly Shay couldn't deny the small inkling of jealousy that ate her up from the inside out.  
"Everything," she complained in reference to his earlier question and as she raised her face to look at him, she continued, "I just don't know what to think anymore, I'm so lost."

Against all his better judgements, including his conscience screaming at him not to do this, Freddie felt himself lean towards her swollen face and tear stained cheeks.

Reaching out for Carly's arms, Freddie brought her hands to rest around his waist as he searched her eyes for any sign of uncertainty, and when he saw none he felt all his inhibition leave as well. They were so close that if he moved slightly inwards and directed his head left they would be kissing. Suddenly he felt like that twelve year old boy seeing Carly Shay walking through the lobby for the first time, totally besotted and naive, excitement flooded through him but he couldn't escape the niggling feeling that he was betraying _her._

* * *

"_If you ever got together with the Shaystar, I don't think I'd ever forgive you Nub, you may be a techgeek but you're MY techgeek, got it? You kissed **me **first!" She sounded rather smug at this.  
__He'd grinned at her  
_"_Shaystar? Who's that girl, I don't ever recall meeting a person named 'Shaystar' and if I had, she'd be nothing compared to you Princes – OW! What was that for?!" he'd exclaimed. She'd knocked him affectionately on the arm.  
_"_Just thought you'd like to know how I feel about you is all," she'd replied innocently; sweetly.  
_"_Well at least it didn't bruise this time," he pouted petulantly, getting dangerously close to sultry territory.  
_"_Aww bubba! Did I hurt you?" She smirked.  
_"_You could never hurt me; nothing you do will ever surprise me Princess P you're so predictably unpr-"  
"Kiss me Fredweird"  
"Yes ma'am."_

* * *

_She_ didn't know this,  
_She_ never would now,  
but _she_ _did _hurt him;  
more than he'd ever let on; even to Carly.  
But he was seventeen now and times had changed, he wasn't anything to _her_ anymore, and that's what hurt him the most. She had betrayed Freddie's confidence and there was only so much abuse their - for want of a better word - relationship could take. Since the lack of communication on her part he'd: grown upwards and out (in the broader shouldered sense); gained more friends, had more admirers than he could ever remember having and even a slightly psychotic but loving mother didn't seem to bother him as much. A best friend, a _gorgeous_ best friend, talented, kind and their friendship was real.

Looking into her eyes made _him_ feel safe and he couldn't imagine anything he would rather be doing than pleasing her, so why did it feel so wrong about something that fit perfectly? Was it because he was still in love with _her,_ or still felt hurt and vulnerable that _she_ had left him to fend for himself too?

Feeling angry for thinking about _her_, Freddie cleared any thoughts and focused directly on the girl in front of him.  
Sweet, loving Carly, of whom, he'd always harboured a not-so-secret crush.  
Until _her._

**STOP IT**_  
_He scolded himself.

Slowly he bought his hand to Carly's chin and brought her face to his as he closed the gap between them.

Their first initial contact sent shivers of pleasure into Freddie Benson and as they deepened the kiss; they felt emotions neither could explain.  
Continuing to kiss Carly, he felt his cheeks warm- even through the sub-zero temperature - but no matter how cold it seemed to get and how warm his face seemed to feel, he couldn't get rid of the guilty and slightly nauseous emotions coming over him.

_She _used to kiss like that.  
_She _used to hold him close.  
_She _won't ever be coming back.

He suddenly felt really isolated; Carly Shay noticed this.

**"Mmm, Sam"**

Carly's eyes widened in horror as she realised what was going on in Freddie's mind, stumbling away from him, she heard herself stutter,

**"I...uh...I have to go Freddie, Spencer's cooking Spaghetti Taco's. I'll see you later 'kay?"** What surprised her most is that he seemed completely unaware that he'd said anything wrong.

**"Wait! Carls, I'll come with, I live opposite you...remember?"** Chuckling edgily, he carried on, **"Carly - are you …okay?"**

**"Oh right, no, no I mean yes! I'm fine! I'm dandy! I'm fine and dandy! Don't worry about me, stay here."** Her answer was high pitched but and yet ... slightly distant?  
Her cheeks were the colour of beetroot – Freddie couldn't decide whether this was due to numbness or embarrassment. He wasn't _that_ bad was he?

_She _never complained.

Before he even had time to voice this question, Carly was off; all he could see of her now was her tight-clad legs as she sprinted away from him into the darkness. Freddie never saw the tears flooding her face as she ran home.  
He sighed and scuffed his "dorky" shoes along the pavement; the grey cement still lay clear and dark against the gradually building stark white.  
He felt his eyes tear up in frustration.

**"Curse you Puckett,"** he whispered, only to have it blown away by the howling of the wind.


End file.
